Published February 10, 2026 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

For a long time, I didn’t realize I was stuck inside a vicious cycle. I thought I was just chasing enjoyment, opportunity, or momentum. But in active addiction, gambling and compulsive collecting didn’t live separately for me. They co-existed. They fed each other, quietly and relentlessly, until it became impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.

When I’d join a break, the outcome almost didn’t matter. If I spent a significant amount on wax or breaks in one sitting, panic followed whether I “hit” or not. The cards weren’t liquid. They couldn’t turn back into cash fast enough. What I felt had nothing to do with the result. Regardless of the outcome, I’d still feel an urgent, consuming need to get the money back immediately. So I’d fire up a casino app, jump into a live blackjack room, and tell myself I was just evening things out. That’s how the hook worked. One loss demanding another risk to fix it.

Like clockwork, the cycle repeated - a nervous system wired for pursuit, not relief.

The trap didn’t only exist on the losing side. Wins were just as dangerous. If I hit big at the casino, that money never felt like a relief. It felt like permission. Permission to buy more wax. Permission to jump into bigger breaks. Permission to press harder. The win didn’t calm the system, it reactivated it. Gambling funded collecting, collecting triggered gambling, and the cycle kept spinning.

That’s what made it so insidious. There was no finish line. Losses created desperation. Wins created entitlement. Both led back to the same place. Chasing. And chasing doesn’t care whether you’re ahead or behind. It only cares that you stay in motion.

Breaking that cycle required more than stopping one behavior. It meant recognizing how deeply intertwined they were. It meant understanding that the urge wasn’t always about money, cards, or odds. It was about control, relief, and escape. Until I named that, I stayed stuck trying to treat symptoms instead of the system.

If any part of this feels familiar, you’re not broken and you’re not alone. These environments are designed to blur boundaries and keep you pressing forward. Awareness is where the cycle starts to loosen. Intention is where it begins to break.

#CollectorsMD
When winning and losing both push you to keep chasing, the problem isn’t the outcome, it’s the cycle.

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