Published December 17, 2025 | By Dayae Kim, LMFT, Collectors MD Referral Network
I say this every year, but I can’t believe another year is coming to an end. Every year holds so much, and yet time feels both fast and blurry. Time can feel strange—the last few months of the year feel clear, but the beginning of the year often feels like a haze. I’ve noticed this same sentiment come up again and again with many of the people I work with.
Recently, I had a session with someone who had been going through a particularly difficult season. When I asked him to reflect on his year, he could only remember the difficulties—the setbacks, the stress, the moments that felt out of his control. His mind, like all of ours when we’re overwhelmed, focused almost exclusively on the pain.
What many people don’t realize is that our brains are wired with a negativity bias. When we’re stressed, anxious, or depressed, our memory becomes selective. It clings to what felt threatening or painful and quietly discards anything that felt neutral or even positive at the time.
Instead of asking him to reflect on the year, we slowed things down. We went month by month. We looked through photos, calendar events, notes, texts, emails, and old conversations—small anchors that reminded him life was still happening, even in the middle of hardship. And through that process, something shifted.
He began to remember not just what went wrong, but what went right. Not just the hard moments, but the meaningful ones. Not just the stress, but the strength it took to keep going.
It was a reminder—for both of us—that negativity bias doesn’t just shape how we feel in the present. It shapes how we remember the past. And when we don’t slow down and look carefully, we risk forgetting our own progress, resilience, and growth.
This is often the moment when pause becomes possible—when we stop rushing forward long enough to actually notice what we’ve carried and what we’ve survived.
As the year comes to a close, I want to invite you to try a different kind of reflection—one that isn’t about judging your productivity or measuring your worth.
Instead, try reflecting through the lens of compassion.
What surprised you?
What softened you?
What challenged you in a way that helped you grow?
What did you learn about your needs, your capacity, and your relationships?
What did you let go of?
What have you been carrying that you may finally be ready to set down?
If it helps, go month by month. Let photos, messages, and memories remind you of moments that didn’t feel important at the time—but mattered more than you realized.
This applies to collecting, too. Many collectors look back on a year and only remember the losses, the money spent, the cards they wish they hadn’t chased, or the moments they felt out of control. Negativity bias can make an entire year feel like a failure when it wasn’t. When we slow down, we often see something different: moments of restraint, lessons learned, connections made, boundaries tested, and growth that didn’t feel dramatic—but was real.
Let this reflection be a gentle reminder that your story is bigger than any one purchase, any one mistake, any one month, or any one season. Growth doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it shows up quietly, in the pauses you didn’t used to take and the choices you didn’t used to see.
If you’re ready to enter the new year with more grounding, insight, and emotional balance, you're always welcome to schedule a consultation with me.
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Compassion changes the way we remember—and remembering differently changes the way we move forward.
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