This is a bit of departure from our usual brand of weirdness, but I strolled into a Trader Joe’s this past week and, out of the corner of my eye, sensed something.

I live my life by some simple rules. Among the many: if an item is almost gone at a store and other items are still fully stocked around it, grab two of them without hesitation, whatever they are. Other people know something you do not. 

Trader Joe’s released “pastel mini totes” last Tuesday. They are tiny canvas bags that serve zero purpose in real life. And yet people lined up outside the morning of the release. My local store sold 1250 in two hours, according to the woman who was managing the waves of people grabbing and tucking away the bags. 

I am bound by my life rules, so when I saw tens of frenzied people at the totes display, I grabbed two. When I got home I googled them and there were already those lazy stories about totes selling for $1000 (because, of course, one person listed it for an absurd amount and that’s all it takes for the headline). In truth, it’s worth more like $13. 

Still, this had all the signs of a classic Pokemon-style collector brouhaha — 5am lines, people climbing over one another, a woman in a vest shouting “limit of four!,” and, of course, a wide selection of cheeses. 

I now own two pastel mini-totes and they barely hold two cans of soup each. Do I sometimes question my life decisions? Yes. But for $6, it’s a relatively minor expense to share with the Mail Day audience.

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Jo Adell just turned 26. He has 25/35 upside but is seemingly destined to pair that with an ugly .220-ish average. I believe he’s way better than that, and it’s why I keep buying his Bowman 1sts with PSA 10 grades at stunning discounts.

I’m not the type to get all wet over exit velocity, but Adell has it in bunches. His “hard hit %” this season is among the top 5% in baseball. And since 2020, he’s been one of the fastest players on the basepaths in all of baseball. 

Adell’s two-homer inning last week (just days after mini pastel totes were released…coincidence?) made some headlines — and he could garner some buzz with a few more good performances. Adell doesn’t “quietly” do things – he’s an exceptional athlete with elite range, arm strength, bat speed, and stolen base potential who can make viral plays on defense and hit monster home runs at the plate. Plus, Adell plays in a large market alongside one of the game’s best in Mike Trout — there could still be hope here! Remember, Adell was the No. 3 prospect in all of baseball a few years ago and hit .286 over 411 games in his minor league career. Stay tuned for what could be a value-boosting season… and get in on it before it’s too late. 

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Update: Topps Celebration boxes are down to about $65. Perhaps by May we’ll hit that $50 target mark and pounce on a couple. 

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I love Bowman U. LOVE it. But I have a minor beef. 

Bowman U’s existence has kind of ruined the fun of SI for Kids cards. (Yes, I know we just ranked the best SIFK cards last week here and here). 

And yes, as an adult, this is insane — they’re nine mostly off-center perforated cards on thin stock featured in a magazine that literally says “for kids” on it. 

And yet…

Seeing Ashton Jeanty’s card in one of the latest issues would normally have been a goldmine — the buzziest player in college football this season, his SIFK card would have been worth hundreds of dollars in PSA 7+ condition. Stores would have sold out, people would ask traveling relatives to check airport newsstands for it. 

Instead, Jeanty already had several Bowman U (and Leaf!) cards, with variations abound… and the SIFK card can be had for $5. 

Am I a weirdo adult for bemoaning the fact that magazine insert cards made specifically for children have now been returned, by market forces and the magic of capitalism, back to being fun cards for kids? I just miss the joy of finding random gems inside a magazine, and trying to be one step ahead of everyone else hunting the same physical thing in the real world. The constant checking of stores and telling other people to look for the issue (especially during the Wembanyama card frenzy) was FUN. It was a challenge. And when they were inevitably sold out, it was kind of neat to think, “there is more than one J.R. Fickle out there.” And Bowman U, despite all its wonderfulness, took that from us. 

Melancholy, I know. Moving on to something more uplifting!

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With Val Kilmer passing away (sorry, bad transition), I want to shout out Todd Spence, an artist I somehow found one day on Twitter who made one of the coolest pieces I have hanging up in my office:

https://x.com/Todd_Spence/status/1762294141864824925

I don’t know if this is still available, but when I order from him I just hit him up on twitter and he replies. Worth the $25-30!

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Fine… one more “kids” thing before we go. Wendy’s currently has very cool MUSCLE Men-style DC Heroes toys in their kids meals. Consider pretending you have children for dinner tonight and get yourself a few! They’re selling for thousands on eBay!!