Published August 15, 2025 | By Bryan E, Collectors MD Advocate

If you’ve ever loved an addict, you know it’s not just their battle — it becomes part of your life too.

That’s why groups like Al-Anon, Gam-Anon, and Nar-Anon exist. They aren’t just there to "teach" you what your loved one is going through. They’re there to help you understand it on a deeper level — and hopefully move from understanding to empathy.

Understanding vs. Empathy
Understanding is about knowing the facts: what the addiction is, how it works, what behaviors it causes. Empathy is about feeling the why behind it. That’s harder—especially if you’ve never experienced addiction yourself.

We live in a culture that often judges addiction by the behavior alone. With gambling, it might start with a few hands of blackjack from time to time. The excitement of winning causes dopamine to flood the brain, and that rush feels amazing. The gambler wants to feel it again. Casinos make sure they have plenty of reasons to come back to chase that feeling.

Over time, it’s not just a habit—it’s brain chemistry. The itch has to be scratched. And even though you can’t see those changes like you would see the damage from smoking or drinking, they’re just as real.

What Loved Ones See
The problem is, as the partner, parent, sibling, or friend, you don’t see the brain chemistry. You see the mood swings. The distraction. The secrecy. The withdrawal. And it’s tempting to think—"they could just stop if they really wanted to".

If only it were that simple.

The Fallout
Addiction rarely stops at the behavior itself. It spills over into finances, work, relationships. Sometimes the damage can be repaired. Sometimes it can’t. Even after the addict seeks help—through programs like Gamblers Anonymous, therapy, or new habits—some consequences may linger for years.

And here’s the hard truth: you might need your own recovery. The stress, the hurt, the constant uncertainty—it takes a toll.

Walking the Long Road
Once an addict, always an addict. Recovery is lifelong. And as hard as it is, your support can make a difference—not just by helping prevent relapse, but by being there as they rebuild from the wreckage.

It’s not easy. You might feel like you’ve been through the war right alongside them. And in many ways, you have. But choosing empathy—seeing the person under the addiction—can be the bridge that helps both of you heal.

#CollectorsMD
Sometimes the person in the most need of healing isn’t the one who was "the addict" at all—it’s the one who had to live with the fallout.

—
Follow us on Instagram: @collectorsmd
Subscribe to our Newsletter & Support Group
Join The Conversation On Mantel
Read More Daily Reflections