Published November 03, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

There’s a moment—right before the explosion—when you can feel the temperature rising inside you. Your jaw tightens, your chest burns, and your thoughts start racing faster than you can catch them. In that instant, clarity disappears. What began as discomfort turns into defense. What began as hurt becomes heat.

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched”. — George Jean Nathan

Anger is part of being human. But when left unchecked, it becomes more than emotion—it becomes a behavior. A reaction. A reflex. Many of us never learned how to sit with anger safely. Some of us were raised around yelling, slammed doors, or silence so thick it felt like punishment. Others learned to stuff it down until it bursts. In either case, the result is the same: a pattern of reactivity that corrodes relationships, clouds judgment, and often leads us back into the very cycles we swore we’d escape.

When it comes to collecting, anger can surface in subtle, unexpected ways. Maybe it’s the frustration when an eBay seller refuses to negotiate on a card you need to complete a set—one they’ve listed for three times its actual value. Maybe it’s the bitterness of seeing someone else hit your “dream card” on a live stream while you sit empty-handed. Maybe it’s the guilt or shame when a loved one questions your spending. Or maybe it’s the resentment that bubbles up when you realize how much time, money, and emotion you’ve poured into something that no longer feels joyful.

It’s in those moments that anger takes the controls—driving our thoughts, steering our reactions—while the rest of our emotions sit quietly in the backseat, unsure how to intervene.

Beneath all of that surface frustration isn’t really the card or the moment—it’s something deeper that’s been quietly simmering far longer. When we start to dissect the root cause, anger often reveals itself as disappointment, grief, fear, or the desperate need to control something we simply can’t. When we don’t address these deeper emotions, anger becomes our armor—a mask to hide the inevitable pain.

The truth is, anger is energy misplaced. It’s the body’s alarm system trying to protect us from pain. Just like compulsion, anger thrives in reactivity. It can be used to destroy or to awaken. When we stop using anger as a weapon against the very people who care about us—whether through aggression, deflection, or silence—and start recognizing it as a signal, something shifts. It becomes a messenger—not of rage, but of boundaries crossed, needs unmet, and pain unspoken. The goal isn’t to suppress anger; it’s to understand its message without handing it control.

So when you feel that familiar rush rising, ask yourself: What am I really protecting? What part of me feels unseen, unheard, or unsafe right now? That small pause—the breath between feeling and reaction—is where recovery lives.

Healing doesn’t come from avoiding anger. It comes from learning to meet it with awareness, compassion, and choice. When we learn to name what’s underneath anger—fear of losing control, shame over our actions, disappointment over what’s gone wrong—we start to reclaim clarity and control. We can’t think clearly with clenched fists, but we can begin to heal when we loosen our grip, breathe, and choose awareness over reaction.

#CollectorsMD
When we stop battling our anger, we finally see what it’s been trying to defend.

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