Published November 18, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

If you spend any time buying or selling in today’s hobby—especially on eBay— you’ve probably felt it: the slow, grinding frustration of negotiating with strangers who seem to be living in entirely different realities. One person cites comps like they’re written in stone. Another ignores comps altogether because “their copy “looks like a gem”. Someone labels you “cheap” for offering fair market value. Someone else posts a card at double the last sale and still turns off “best offers” because anything under asking is “disrespectful”.

It’s comical until it isn’t.

Because beneath all the jokes and eye-rolls, there’s a deeper tension happening: everyone thinks they’re being reasonable, and almost no one actually is. Buyers want a deal but get offended when sellers don’t counter. Sellers want maximum value but get offended when buyers use objective comps. Even the phrase “best offer” has become code for “I want your number to magically match my fantasy”.

And somewhere inside this tug-of-war, the whole point of collecting gets lost.

What’s really happening is that people aren’t negotiating prices—they’re negotiating emotions. A seller who rejects a fair offer with “I’ll just grade it” is often protecting their pride, not their profit. A buyer who lowballs isn’t always trying to exploit someone—they’re trying to avoid getting burned in a market that feels rigged, volatile, and unpredictable. The entire interaction becomes a projection of fear, ego, and uncertainty disguised as a “deal”.

What looks like a simple negotiation is often two people quietly defending their insecurities. The deal is rarely about value. It’s about vulnerability.

And for compulsive or emotionally reactive collectors, this dynamic can be gasoline on the fire. A simple offer turns into a personal battle. A listing becomes an invitation to spiral. One refusal becomes evidence that the world is unfair. One overpay becomes a new reason to chase, justify, or double down.

What used to be a hobby now feels like a psychological minefield.

This is where intention matters most. Not to shame buyers or sellers, but to recognize how easily the negotiation trap pulls us into behaviors that don’t align with who we want to be. When every interaction becomes adversarial, the hobby stops feeling like connection—and starts feeling like combat.

But here’s the truth: Not every price is personal. Not every counter is disrespect. Not every negotiation is a battle to win.

Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is step back, breathe, and remind ourselves that value—real value—doesn’t come from forcing someone to see things our way. It comes from clarity, boundaries, and a willingness to walk away without turning it into a story about our worth.

If we want a healthier hobby, it starts with how we talk to each other. How we negotiate. How we set expectations. And how we show up when we don’t get the answer we want.

Because the hobby doesn’t need more battles—it needs more balance.

#CollectorsMD
The deal isn’t the danger—the emotions behind it are. Practice clarity, patience, and intention, and the hobby begins to feel like a community again.

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