Published September 28, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

Recovery is rarely a straight line. Even when we’re making real strides—showing up, putting in the work, choosing intention over impulse—there’s a reality that can feel crushing: our partners or spouses may still carry deep, unshakable resentment for the pain our actions caused.

They aren’t just remembering abstract mistakes; they’re remembering the nights we disappeared, the lies we told, the money we spent, and the trust we broke. For them, those wounds live right on the surface, and when they resurface them in conversation, it can feel like we’re dragged back into our darkest times.

The hardest part is that their reminders rarely come from malice. Most often, they’re born out of pain—a way of saying, “I’m still hurt, and I don’t know how to move past it”. But for us, those moments can feel suffocating. Just when momentum is building, just when we’ve strung together days or weeks of healthy choices, being pulled back into the past can knock the wind out of us. The temptation becomes real: to soothe ourselves in the only way we used to know—by going back to the very habits we’re trying to leave behind.

Sometimes the distance between two people isn’t measured in miles, but in unspoken hurt that both are still learning how to carry.

This is where vigilance matters. We have to be careful not to let their pain pull us back into our spiral. Their reminders, though heavy, are not commands for us to fail. They are signals that healing is not one-sided—our recovery might be underway, but their recovery from what we put them through is just as real, and just as ongoing.

That means practicing empathy even when it hurts. It means recognizing that our progress doesn’t erase their scars. And it means finding new ways to manage the sting—through honesty, through support systems, through small acts of repair—instead of numbing it with the very behaviors that caused the damage in the first place.

Progress in recovery is fragile. But it’s also powerful. The work is to let their hurt exist without letting it undo the growth you’ve fought for. Healing is not only about moving forward; it’s about learning how to carry the weight of the past without letting it break you.

#CollectorsMD
Resentment doesn’t mean failure—it means healing is still in progress, for both of you.

—
Follow us on Instagram: @collectorsmd
Subscribe to our Newsletter & Support Group
Join The Conversation On Mantel
Read More Daily Reflections

In many recovery programs, bailouts and bankruptcy are dismissed as shortcuts. At Collectors MD, we see them differently. Crushing debt, predatory APRs, and endless fees can trap people in survival mode—and sometimes the only way forward is using every lifeline available.

Bankruptcy, restructuring, or asking for help aren’t failures. They’re turning points. The slate may be wiped clean, but what matters is how you rebuild—your finances, your relationship with collecting, and your relationship with yourself.

At Collectors MD, we say it plainly: freedom without accountability is just another trap. Real recovery means owning your choices, even the hardest ones, and using every tool available to protect what matters most.

#CollectorsMD | #RipResponsibly | #CollectResponsibly

https://www.instagram.com/p/DPHOlHpERpa/

Published September 24, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

Regret shows up in collecting in so many forms. The box we ripped when we knew we shouldn’t. The auction we chased until the credit card balance hurt. The card we sold too early, only to watch its value climb. In those moments, it’s easy to let regret anchor us in shame, to replay the decision over and over until it overshadows everything else.

But regret isn’t just a burden—it’s a teacher. Each time we feel that sting, it’s pointing to a boundary we crossed or one we didn’t set. It’s telling us where our impulse won out over intention, and where we have the chance to build a better plan for next time.

When the packs are empty and the wrappers pile up, the thrill fades—but the regret remains. That's why we promote collecting with intention, not compulsion.

The difference between being crushed by regret and being shaped by it is accountability. Do we sweep it under the rug and hope it never happens again? Or do we pause, admit what went wrong, and put a safeguard in place—whether that’s setting a hard budget, telling a trusted friend or family member about our triggers, or simply learning to walk away from the boxes or the screen when emotions take over?

Collectors who embrace regret as feedback begin to transform it. Instead of letting it spiral into self-punishment, they let it fuel new habits and strengthen their resilience. The sting doesn’t vanish overnight, but step by step, the weight grows lighter.

The truth is, we will all feel regret in this hobby at some point. What matters is how we carry it—and how we let it carry us forward.

#CollectorsMD
Regret doesn’t define us—it refines us.

—
Follow us on Instagram: @collectorsmd
Subscribe to our Newsletter & Support Group
Join The Conversation On Mantel
Read More Daily Reflections

Published September 18, 2025 | By Dayae Kim, LMFT, Collectors MD Referral Network

In my practice, I work with motivated, high-achieving, and successful individuals—whether in school, their careers, or family life. Many of my clients are driven, independent, and proud of what they’ve built. Their success often comes from their ability to work well on their own and push themselves beyond limits.

But with this strength comes a hidden challenge: stress management, burnout, and difficulty asking for help.

For many people, asking for help feels like weakness. After all, many of them have gotten to where they are by figuring things out themselves. But what happens when the pressure builds and it becomes so overwhelming that it starts to show up as sleepless nights, physical pain, or constant worry and rumination?

When Independence Turns Into Isolation

One of my clients operates a thriving company. When his business recently ran into several challenges all at once, he instinctively took on multiple roles to fix the problems. At first, he managed, but eventually the weight of it all started to show—he felt exhausted, his sleep was suffering, and he was experiencing intense physical pain in his neck and shoulders.

When I asked him if he believed he could figure it all out by himself, his immediate response was “yes”. That had always been his answer as he did well being self-reliant. But when I gently pointed out the toll this was taking on his health, he paused. For the first time, he considered that maybe he didn’t have to figure everything out alone.

What he was experiencing wasn’t weakness—it was the weight of carrying too much, for too long, without support. Throughout the session, we discussed what he could do to alleviate some of these symptoms and how he could seek help in ways that would not only reduce his stress but also allow him to feel good about it.

What Asking For Help Actually Looks Like

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re incapable. It means you’re human. It means you’re choosing sustainability over burnout. And it often looks very different than people expect:

• Asking directly for support—for example: “I can’t do this right now, could you take this on?”

• Delegating tasks when too much is on your plate.

• Seeking guidance from a colleague, peer, or mentor who has been through similar challenges.

• Taking a break—mentally or physically—to reset before continuing.

Sometimes the most effective leaders are the ones who know when to lean on others.

Shifting The Perspective

If you’re someone who prides themselves on being independent, asking for help can feel uncomfortable. But consider this—asking for help doesn’t diminish your accomplishments, it protects them. It gives you the space to breathe, recover, and continue leading in a way that’s sustainable.

Instead of seeing it as a weakness, try viewing it as a strategy for longevity and resilience.

Tying It Back To Collecting

Collectors often carry this same burden of independence. Many in our community believe they have to manage the financial stress, the compulsive urges, and the emotional highs and lows of collecting all on their own. But just like in life and work, you don’t need to figure it all out yourself. Asking for help in the hobby might look like joining a support group, talking with peers who understand, or even pausing before the next purchase to reach out to someone who can hold you accountable and help you stay grounded. Collecting is supposed to bring joy—not isolation. Sometimes the most courageous step a collector struggling to find his or her footing can take is to admit, “I can’t do this alone”.

Conclusion

If you find yourself pushing through exhaustion, stress, or burnout, it might be worth asking: What would asking for help look like for me? Whether that’s at work, in your relationships, or even in therapy, asking for help is often the first step toward balance and relief. You don’t have to carry everything alone.

If you or someone you know is carrying too much and is ready for relief, you’re always welcome to schedule a consultation with me.

#CollectorsMD
The real strength isn’t in carrying it all yourself—it’s in knowing when to share the weight.

—
Follow us on Instagram: @collectorsmd
Subscribe to our Newsletter & Support Group
Join The Conversation On Mantel
Read More Daily Reflections

I had the pleasure of joining The Geoff Wilson Show to share my vision for a healthier hobby. Collecting can be fun, social, and community-driven—but too often it leans on gambling-like mechanics. Imagine if odds were transparent, limits and safeguards were built in, and the focus shifted back to connection, nostalgia, and the why behind what we collect.

At its best, collecting should feel like a celebration, not a trap—it should feel like passion, not compulsion.

#CollectorsMD | #RipResponsibly | #CollectResponsibly

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOv0dLCkZVj/?igsh=MXZ5OTJ0Zm9lM2dhcg%3D%3D