Published December 11, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

There’s a hard truth many of us eventually face in recovery: not every wound we caused will be forgiven. Not every person we hurt will want to reopen the door. Not every apology will be accepted—no matter how sincere, how overdue, or how desperately we wish we could rewrite the past.

It’s one of the most painful parts of healing. During addiction—or any period of compulsion—we can act in ways that don’t reflect who we are, who we were, or who we hoped to be. And when the fog finally lifts, the weight of what we did can feel unbearable. We want to make things right. We want to show we’ve changed. We want closure.

But recovery teaches us something both uncomfortable and necessary: closure doesn’t always come from the people we hurt. Sometimes it has to come from within us. You may reach out to apologize—and they may not respond. You may try to make amends—and find the door is firmly closed. You may acknowledge the harm—and still be met with silence or distance.

Sometimes the damage is too deep. Sometimes the trust is gone. Sometimes they’re healing in their own way, and that healing doesn’t include us. And sometimes it’s simply out of our control. What is in our control is how we move forward. How we integrate the lesson. How we transform the guilt into growth instead of punishment.

Sometimes the only closure we get is the closure we create for ourselves—and that has to be enough to keep moving forward.

There are ways to find peace even without reconciliation:

Write the apology you never delivered. Read it aloud. Sit with it. Then burn it or tear it up—not in anger, but as a symbolic letting go of a chapter you can’t rewrite but no longer need to carry.

Pay it forward. If you can’t repair that specific harm, you can honor its lesson by helping someone who is struggling. Your lived experience—your mistakes, your honesty—can become someone else’s lifeline. That is a form of amends too.

Make living amends. Commit to being the person you wished you were back then. Show up with consistency, honesty, restraint, and compassion. Let your daily choices become the apology that will last longer than any words.

Create boundaries with your former self. Look back at the version of you who caused harm with clarity, not shame. You’re not returning to that person—but you’re not pretending they didn’t exist.

Seek forgiveness in community, not just individuals. Sometimes the healing we hope to find from one person is found in many—through shared stories, through accountability, through people who know what it means to rebuild.

In recovery, we learn to accept that we don’t get to decide how others heal. But we do get to decide how we heal. Sometimes closure is granted. Sometimes closure is earned. And sometimes—maybe most importantly—closure is created.

#CollectorsMD
Even when forgiveness isn’t given back to us, we can still choose to heal forward—one honest step at a time.

—
Follow us on Instagram: @collectorsmd
Subscribe to our Newsletter & Support Group
Join The Conversation On Mantel
Read More Daily Reflections

Published December 03, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

Recovery is often framed as the dark hallway you’re forced to walk through after things fall apart. But the truth—the part we rarely talk about—is that recovery has silver linings that can transform your life in ways the struggle never could. Recovery gives us clarity, connection, community, and a sense of belonging that many of us never felt even when we were “deep in the hobby”. It’s not bleak, and it’s not punishment. It’s not failure or weakness. It’s an opportunity to step into something far more real and fulfilling.

One of the most beautiful parts of recovery—especially in a space like ours—is the community that forms around honesty instead of hype. We have our own version of camaraderie here. Our own version of belonging. A version that doesn’t require spending a single dollar to feel included. For many collectors, the hobby once felt like the only place they “fit”, until the pressure, the spending, and the shame made that belonging feel conditional. But recovery reminds us of something important: walking away from the unhealthy parts of the hobby does not mean walking away from community. You don’t lose connection when you choose yourself—you actually gain it.

At Collectors MD, you’re surrounded by people who get it. People who have lived it. People who are living it. People who don’t judge your story because their own story has chapters that look just like yours. Peer support is such a beautiful thing—because it isn’t transactional, it isn’t based on what you buy, and it isn’t tied to your highlight reel. It’s based on truth. Humanity. Empathy.

And that kind of support creates a different kind of bond—one built on truth, not transactions.

I’ve formed relationships in recovery that are deeper, more honest, and more durable than anything I built in the chase. These are friendships that aren’t dependent on hits, grails, or boxes—they’re rooted in real conversation, accountability, and genuine care.

Recovery also gives you something the chase never could: peace. The quiet moment when temptation doesn’t control you. The pride of saying “not today”. The relief of opening your banking app without bracing for impact. The freedom of knowing you don’t have to hide your behavior from the people you love. The joy of reconnecting with interests, routines, and parts of yourself that addiction pushed aside. Recovery brings back mornings that aren’t filled with regret. Evenings that aren’t consumed by temptation. Conversations that aren’t shadowed by guilt. Recovery gives you breath, space, and choice.

And most importantly, recovery gives you the reminder that you don’t have to struggle in isolation anymore. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through compulsion or shame. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine. You don’t have to go through this alone. You get to be supported. You get to be understood. You get to heal in community—your community.

Recovery isn’t a downgrade. It’s not the “boring” version of life. It’s not a box you have to check or a chore you have to complete. And above all, It’s not a sign that you failed. Recovery is the beginning of something honest, meaningful, grounded, and real. And I’m grateful—deeply—that this community lets us remember that together.

#CollectorsMD
The silver lining is this: recovery gives back everything compulsion took away—and then gives you even more.

—
Follow us on Instagram: @collectorsmd
Subscribe to our Newsletter & Support Group
Join The Conversation On Mantel
Read More Daily Reflections

We’re re-uploading every episode of our podcasts—one per day—to make sure our new members and followers can catch up from the beginning.

If you’re new to Collectors MD, these conversations are where it all started—honest, unfiltered discussions about the realities of collecting, recovery, and rebuilding a healthier hobby.

We’ll be sharing episodes from The Collector’s Compass & Behind The Breaks covering everything from gambling parallels in collecting, to mental health, to how we find purpose beyond the chase.

Whether you’ve been here since day one or just joined the movement, this is your chance to revisit the stories that shaped our mission.

Subscribe on YouTube, follow along daily, like, comment, and help us spread the message: the hobby gets healthier when we do.

Collect With Intention. Not Compulsion.

Behind The Breaks #4: The Easy Way Out

#CollectorsMD | #RipResponsibly | #CollectResponsibly

We’re re-uploading every episode of our podcasts—one per day—to make sure our new members and followers can catch up from the beginning.

If you’re new to Collectors MD, these conversations are where it all started—honest, unfiltered discussions about the realities of collecting, recovery, and rebuilding a healthier hobby.

We’ll be sharing episodes from The Collector’s Compass & Behind The Breaks covering everything from gambling parallels in collecting, to mental health, to how we find purpose beyond the chase.

Whether you’ve been here since day one or just joined the movement, this is your chance to revisit the stories that shaped our mission.

Subscribe on YouTube, follow along daily, like, comment, and help us spread the message: the hobby gets healthier when we do.

Collect With Intention. Not Compulsion.

Behind The Breaks #1: The Untold Truth About Compulsive Collecting & Gambling In The Modern Hobby

#CollectorsMD | #RipResponsibly | #CollectResponsibly

Collectors MD is proud to announce a new partnership with Better Way of Miami, a long-standing nonprofit organization dedicated to addiction recovery, mental health support, and community care.

At Collectors MD, our mission has always been clear: help collectors collect with intention—not compulsion. That means acknowledging the emotional, financial, and behavioral struggles that often mirror addiction, and building a healthier ecosystem rooted in community, accountability, and real support.

For more than 40 years, Better Way of Miami has provided residential treatment, outpatient programming, and long-term recovery services for individuals facing substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health diagnoses. Their dual-diagnosis expertise—treating both addiction and underlying mental health conditions—aligns directly with the complex challenges many collectors quietly navigate behind the scenes. Their work is grounded in compassion, evidence-based care, and the belief that recovery is possible with the right structure and support.

Through this partnership, Collectors MD members will gain direct access to Better Way of Miami’s professional resources, educational materials, and clinical support pathways. Together, we will collaborate on programming that connects traditional addiction treatment with the modern realities of compulsive collecting—impulsive spending, dopamine-driven decision-making, gambling-adjacent behaviors, financial distress, emotional burnout, and the shame that often keeps people silent.

This partnership strengthens the safety net for anyone in our community who may need more than peer support alone. It expands access. It reduces stigma. And it ensures that collectors who are struggling with addiction-like patterns—whether related to cards, spending, or other behaviors—know they have a place to turn for real help.

Better Way of Miami President & CEO, Ryan Roelans was recently featured on Episode #19 of The Collector’s Compass, where he shared his perspective on addiction, mental health, and the role professional treatment plays alongside peer support in helping individuals find safer, more sustainable paths toward recovery.

Collectors MD is not anti-hobby—we’re pro-support. And this collaboration reinforces our commitment to protecting collectors’ well-being, mental health, and long-term stability both inside and outside the hobby.

Collect With Intention. Heal With Support.
#CollectorsMD | #BetterWayOfMiami | #HobbyHealth | #RipResponsibly | #CollectResponsibly

Learn More About Better Way of Miami
Follow Better Way of Miami On Instagram
Watch Episode #19 of The Collector’s Compass

Follow Collectors MD On Instagram
Join Our Weekly Support Group
Join The Conversation On Mantel