Published September 18, 2025 | By Dayae Kim, LMFT, Collectors MD Referral Network

In my practice, I work with motivated, high-achieving, and successful individuals—whether in school, their careers, or family life. Many of my clients are driven, independent, and proud of what they’ve built. Their success often comes from their ability to work well on their own and push themselves beyond limits.

But with this strength comes a hidden challenge: stress management, burnout, and difficulty asking for help.

For many people, asking for help feels like weakness. After all, many of them have gotten to where they are by figuring things out themselves. But what happens when the pressure builds and it becomes so overwhelming that it starts to show up as sleepless nights, physical pain, or constant worry and rumination?

When Independence Turns Into Isolation

One of my clients operates a thriving company. When his business recently ran into several challenges all at once, he instinctively took on multiple roles to fix the problems. At first, he managed, but eventually the weight of it all started to show—he felt exhausted, his sleep was suffering, and he was experiencing intense physical pain in his neck and shoulders.

When I asked him if he believed he could figure it all out by himself, his immediate response was “yes”. That had always been his answer as he did well being self-reliant. But when I gently pointed out the toll this was taking on his health, he paused. For the first time, he considered that maybe he didn’t have to figure everything out alone.

What he was experiencing wasn’t weakness—it was the weight of carrying too much, for too long, without support. Throughout the session, we discussed what he could do to alleviate some of these symptoms and how he could seek help in ways that would not only reduce his stress but also allow him to feel good about it.

What Asking For Help Actually Looks Like

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re incapable. It means you’re human. It means you’re choosing sustainability over burnout. And it often looks very different than people expect:

• Asking directly for support—for example: “I can’t do this right now, could you take this on?”

• Delegating tasks when too much is on your plate.

• Seeking guidance from a colleague, peer, or mentor who has been through similar challenges.

• Taking a break—mentally or physically—to reset before continuing.

Sometimes the most effective leaders are the ones who know when to lean on others.

Shifting The Perspective

If you’re someone who prides themselves on being independent, asking for help can feel uncomfortable. But consider this—asking for help doesn’t diminish your accomplishments, it protects them. It gives you the space to breathe, recover, and continue leading in a way that’s sustainable.

Instead of seeing it as a weakness, try viewing it as a strategy for longevity and resilience.

Tying It Back To Collecting

Collectors often carry this same burden of independence. Many in our community believe they have to manage the financial stress, the compulsive urges, and the emotional highs and lows of collecting all on their own. But just like in life and work, you don’t need to figure it all out yourself. Asking for help in the hobby might look like joining a support group, talking with peers who understand, or even pausing before the next purchase to reach out to someone who can hold you accountable and help you stay grounded. Collecting is supposed to bring joy—not isolation. Sometimes the most courageous step a collector struggling to find his or her footing can take is to admit, “I can’t do this alone”.

Conclusion

If you find yourself pushing through exhaustion, stress, or burnout, it might be worth asking: What would asking for help look like for me? Whether that’s at work, in your relationships, or even in therapy, asking for help is often the first step toward balance and relief. You don’t have to carry everything alone.

If you or someone you know is carrying too much and is ready for relief, you’re always welcome to schedule a consultation with me.

#CollectorsMD
The real strength isn’t in carrying it all yourself—it’s in knowing when to share the weight.

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