Published October 31, 2025 | By Dayae Kim, LMFT, Collectors MD Referral Network

What Is Impulsivity?
WebMD describes impulsivity as a tendency to act without foresight or much thought. Impulsivity is something all of us have experienced at some point.

When I’ve felt burnout from work, I’ve noticed myself engaging in more impulsive behaviors. For me, it often shows up as careless spending or shopping. The cycle usually looks like this: I feel overwhelmed and frustrated from burnout, I go shopping and buy things I don’t need on a whim, and then later, I look at my bank statement and feel anxious and guilty about how much I’ve spent. That guilt and anxiety lead to more stress, and I start the cycle all over again.

Has this happened to you? Maybe it’s not impulsive shopping, but have you ever noticed yourself engaging in any of these behaviors when stressed or anxious?

• Angry outbursts

• Speaking before thinking

• Unsafe or risky actions

• Overspending

• Gambling

When we’re anxious or stressed, impulsive actions can feel like a quick fix. We might think, “If I just buy this, eat this, or say this, I’ll feel better”. And for a brief moment, it might even seem to work. But shortly after, we’re often left feeling worse because we haven’t actually addressed the root cause of what’s happening underneath.

How Impulsivity Can Be A Symptom, Not The Problem
I’ve been working with a client who has struggled with impulsive gambling. When life and work stressors pile up, he turns to gambling to escape. The temporary rush of excitement numbs the stress, but after acting impulsively, he ends up losing money and feeling even more anxious and defeated.

In our sessions, we’ve worked together to identify his triggers and what his impulsive behaviors look like in real time. More importantly, we’ve practiced delaying his impulsive desires through what I call “thought-breaking activities”. For him, that includes taking a cold shower, going for a run or walk, or turning on his favorite music—loud enough to shift his mood and energy.

These activities don’t erase the stress, but they help him slow down long enough to choose a healthier response instead of reacting irrationally. Over time, he’s learned that managing his impulsivity isn’t about willpower—it’s about awareness, delay, and replacement with something more grounding and appropriate.

Where Collecting Fits In
For many in our community, impulsivity shows up in collecting—especially during moments of stress. A new product drops, a live break starts buzzing, or a rare card appears at a “can’t miss” price, and suddenly the urge feels urgent and justified. The purchase or rip offers a brief lift, but the aftermath—budget strain, shame, or hiding transactions—reinforces the same stress that triggered the behavior. If this sounds familiar, try applying the same thought-breaking approach before you buy: step away for ten minutes, review your budget or want-list, text a trusted friend, or play a song that reliably changes your state. These small pauses create just enough space to return to intentional collecting—choices aligned with your values, limits, and longer-term goals.

Moving Toward Mindful Choices
Impulsivity often gives us the illusion of control—a quick fix to escape discomfort or stress. But these reactions rarely soothe what’s truly underneath. When we learn to pause and observe what’s driving the impulse, we open the door to real change.

Noticing the urge is the first step; choosing differently is the second. Even taking 10 seconds to breathe, walk away, or check in with yourself can interrupt an impulsive cycle and shift your emotional state. With time and support, those pauses add up to more mindful, intentional choices—ones that align with who you actually want to be.

Ready To Break The Cycle?
If you’ve noticed impulsive behaviors showing up when you’re stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, you’re not alone. These behaviors aren’t signs of weakness—they’re signals that something deeper needs your attention and care.

If you or someone you know struggles with impulsivity or the anxiety that often fuels it, I can help. Together, we can:

• Identify triggers and emotional patterns

• Strengthen emotional regulation

• Build healthier coping tools that support real, lasting change

If you are ready to break the cycle and create a calmer, more intentional way of responding to life’s stressors, you’re always welcome to schedule a consultation with me.

#CollectorsMD
Choose pauses over purchases—let intention lead the next move.

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Collectors MD is proud to welcome Kevin Kastrava Jr., MA, LPC, LCADC, ICGC-I to their growing Referral Network.

Kevin is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed/Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor, and International Certified Gambling Counselor (ICGC-I) who brings a rare blend of clinical expertise and lived experience to the work. A recovering addict himself, Kevin understands the shame, secrecy, and “one more” mindset from the inside—then meets it with evidence-based care, accountability, and hope.

What Kevin Brings:

• Gambling-Specialized Care: relapse prevention, urges/trigger planning, and recovery stabilization for casino, sports betting, online gambling, and gambling-like behaviors.

• Evidence-Based Modalities: Motivational Interviewing, CBT, DBT-informed skills, and trauma-informed work.

• Whole-Life Repair: rebuilding financial health, repairing relationship trust, restoring self-worth and identity beyond the gamble, and reconnecting to purpose and community.

In Kevin’s words:

“I’ve walked through the darkness of addiction and know how isolating it feels. The truth is—you can break free. We’ll do it one honest step at a time.”

Earlier this year, Kevin was our first guest on The Collector’s Compass, where we unpacked the psychology of gambling, how it overlaps with hobby behaviors, and practical ways to recognize warning signs before compulsion takes control.

Availability & Access:

• Licensed Counseling: New Jersey (primary practice).

• Referral Network Support: Intro 1:1 conversations for Collectors MD members nationwide, with warm hand-offs to appropriate care.

• How To Connect: Visit our Get Help page on Collectors MD to request a confidential introduction to Kevin.

Collect With Intention. Heal With Support.
#CollectorsMD | #Therapy | #HobbyHealth | #RipResponsibly

Contact Kevin: cardcounselor@hotmail.com, @kjk92_
Watch Episode #1 of The Collector’s Compass

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For more information or to connect with a trusted professional through Collectors MD’s growing network, visit collectorsmd.com/resources.

Collectors MD is proud to announce the addition of Traylor Disbrow, LPC-A, to their growing referral and support network.

Traylor is a therapist based in South Carolina who brings both clinical expertise and lived experience to the challenges collectors face. His work spans anxiety, depression, grief, addiction, gambling recovery, and the powerful pull of “immediate gratification” behaviors—whether in collecting, technology use, or spending.

Drawing from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Attachment Theory, Traylor helps clients understand the root of their compulsions while building healthier habits and resilience. His background includes facilitating alcohol and drug recovery groups, working directly with individuals struggling with gambling behaviors, and candidly sharing his own journey with compulsive collecting.

Traylor recently joined founder Alyx Effron on The Collector’s Compass podcast, where he spoke openly about the addictive patterns embedded in collecting, the importance of honest self-reflection, and how peer support and therapy can work hand-in-hand to create lasting change.

Collectors MD has always been about creating a bridge between peer support and professional resources. By welcoming professionals like Traylor into our network, we’re ensuring that members have access to trusted voices who understand both the mechanics of addiction and the unique dynamics of the hobby.

Traylor provides licensed therapy to residents of South Carolina, and offers informal 1:1 conversations and support to collectors nationwide.

Collect With Intention. Heal With Support.
#CollectorsMD | #Therapy | #HobbyHealth | #RipResponsibly

Traylor Disbrow’s Psychology Today Profile
Contact Traylor: traylordisbrow@palmettocounseling.com, @traylordisbrow
Watch Episode #6 of The Collector’s Compass

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For more information or to connect with a trusted professional through Collectors MD’s growing network, visit collectorsmd.com/resources.

Published September 18, 2025 | By Dayae Kim, LMFT, Collectors MD Referral Network

In my practice, I work with motivated, high-achieving, and successful individuals—whether in school, their careers, or family life. Many of my clients are driven, independent, and proud of what they’ve built. Their success often comes from their ability to work well on their own and push themselves beyond limits.

But with this strength comes a hidden challenge: stress management, burnout, and difficulty asking for help.

For many people, asking for help feels like weakness. After all, many of them have gotten to where they are by figuring things out themselves. But what happens when the pressure builds and it becomes so overwhelming that it starts to show up as sleepless nights, physical pain, or constant worry and rumination?

When Independence Turns Into Isolation

One of my clients operates a thriving company. When his business recently ran into several challenges all at once, he instinctively took on multiple roles to fix the problems. At first, he managed, but eventually the weight of it all started to show—he felt exhausted, his sleep was suffering, and he was experiencing intense physical pain in his neck and shoulders.

When I asked him if he believed he could figure it all out by himself, his immediate response was “yes”. That had always been his answer as he did well being self-reliant. But when I gently pointed out the toll this was taking on his health, he paused. For the first time, he considered that maybe he didn’t have to figure everything out alone.

What he was experiencing wasn’t weakness—it was the weight of carrying too much, for too long, without support. Throughout the session, we discussed what he could do to alleviate some of these symptoms and how he could seek help in ways that would not only reduce his stress but also allow him to feel good about it.

What Asking For Help Actually Looks Like

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re incapable. It means you’re human. It means you’re choosing sustainability over burnout. And it often looks very different than people expect:

• Asking directly for support—for example: “I can’t do this right now, could you take this on?”

• Delegating tasks when too much is on your plate.

• Seeking guidance from a colleague, peer, or mentor who has been through similar challenges.

• Taking a break—mentally or physically—to reset before continuing.

Sometimes the most effective leaders are the ones who know when to lean on others.

Shifting The Perspective

If you’re someone who prides themselves on being independent, asking for help can feel uncomfortable. But consider this—asking for help doesn’t diminish your accomplishments, it protects them. It gives you the space to breathe, recover, and continue leading in a way that’s sustainable.

Instead of seeing it as a weakness, try viewing it as a strategy for longevity and resilience.

Tying It Back To Collecting

Collectors often carry this same burden of independence. Many in our community believe they have to manage the financial stress, the compulsive urges, and the emotional highs and lows of collecting all on their own. But just like in life and work, you don’t need to figure it all out yourself. Asking for help in the hobby might look like joining a support group, talking with peers who understand, or even pausing before the next purchase to reach out to someone who can hold you accountable and help you stay grounded. Collecting is supposed to bring joy—not isolation. Sometimes the most courageous step a collector struggling to find his or her footing can take is to admit, “I can’t do this alone”.

Conclusion

If you find yourself pushing through exhaustion, stress, or burnout, it might be worth asking: What would asking for help look like for me? Whether that’s at work, in your relationships, or even in therapy, asking for help is often the first step toward balance and relief. You don’t have to carry everything alone.

If you or someone you know is carrying too much and is ready for relief, you’re always welcome to schedule a consultation with me.

#CollectorsMD
The real strength isn’t in carrying it all yourself—it’s in knowing when to share the weight.

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Published September 11, 2025 | By Dayae Kim, LMFT, Collectors MD Referral Network

Have you ever felt stuck in your emotions? Anxiety creeps in, your body tenses, your stomach churns, and your mind spins with dread. The fear creates its own cage—you can’t shake it, and suddenly you feel trapped inside it.

When our emotions get stuck, it’s because we haven’t found a way to release them. Completing the cycle—recognizing, processing, and letting go—is what allows us to return to balance.

Recognize What Triggered The Emotion
Pause and name the cause. Was it an unexpected expense, a tense exchange with someone close, or even something as small as a plan falling through?

Notice How It Feels In Your Body
Anxiety often shows up physically. Tightness in your chest. A knot in your stomach. Heat rising in your face. Awareness is the first step toward release.

Take Action
Engage in something that moves the emotion through your system:

• Take a few deep breaths

• Stretch or walk

• Call a friend

• Journal or cry

• Do something grounding that brings you joy

Notice The Shift
After releasing, check in with yourself. That danger you felt at first often loses its grip. You realize you’re okay—and you’ve closed the loop on the emotional cycle.

Like water returning to stillness, completing the emotional cycle helps us move past the urge to seek relief in things we know we shouldn’t during moments of weakness.

Completing this cycle reminds us that emotions aren’t permanent. They move, they change, and when we let them pass through us, we gain perspective and clarity.

And here’s where it ties into collecting: often when we’re stuck in emotion, our impulse is to chase relief—sometimes through overspending, ripping wax, or chasing the next hit. We tell ourselves the high will erase the low. But the truth is, the hobby can’t complete that cycle for us. Only we can. If we learn to release emotions directly—without turning to compulsive behavior—we protect both our mental health and our wallets.

#CollectorsMD
The emotional cycle doesn’t need to end in overspending—it can end in release, reflection, and resilience.

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