Published November 01, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

We rarely see it in real time—but in the throes of addiction, and sometimes even deep into recovery, many of us become masters of distortion, quietly gaslighting the very people we love most.

It’s not always the obvious kind. Sometimes it’s more insidious—subtle redirections, deflections, or half-truths meant to protect ourselves from consequence. We justify it “damage control”, “buying time”, or “keeping the peace”. But really, it’s manipulation. It’s a compulsive attempt to manage the very chaos we’ve created—one calculated move at a time.

As addicts, we are inherently compulsive liars. Not because we want to be cruel, but because lying becomes the oxygen that keeps the illusion alive. We tell ourselves we’re protecting others when we’re really just protecting our addiction. We twist the story just enough to shift blame, bend timelines, and rewrite reality so it suits us. And when those closest to us start catching on, we double down—because losing their trust feels more terrifying than facing the truth.

The irony is that all our maneuvering, all our careful “chess moves” to stay one step ahead, only reveal how far behind we really are. We convince ourselves we’re controlling the board—but we’re really just scrambling, trying to rearrange the pieces before the truth surfaces. In the process, we erode the very relationships we’re trying to preserve.

When we stop trying to win the game, we finally start to rebuild the trust we spent years destroying.

Gaslighting is emotional theft. It steals another person’s sense of clarity and replaces it with confusion. It’s how our sickness spreads—outward, infecting the people closest to us. And even when we do it subconsciously, the damage is real. Every denial, every downplay, every “you’re overreacting” chips away at someone else’s reality until they start questioning themselves instead of questioning us.

When we apply this to collecting, the parallels become uncomfortable but undeniable. Just like in gambling addiction, the emotional attachment to material things—cards, boxes, hits, “grails”—can drive us to manipulate not only ourselves but those around us. We justify spending sprees as “investments”, hide purchases under the guise of opportunity, or convince our partners that everything’s under control when deep down, we know it isn’t.

Each lie protects the illusion of balance while pulling us further out of it. The chase becomes emotional currency, and when that’s threatened, we do what addicts do best: we distort the truth to keep the high alive. We manipulate reality just enough to keep the game going, convincing ourselves and those around us that each move is harmless, necessary, and even justified. But every small distortion feeds the same cycle we claim we’re trying to escape.

Recovery asks us to stop moving the pieces—and start admitting the game itself is broken. It asks for radical honesty, even when it costs us control. Because real healing doesn’t come from keeping people in the dark—it comes from finally turning on the light and facing what’s there.

#CollectorsMD
Gaslighting thrives in darkness—but recovery begins when we let others see the truth, even when the truth is ugly.

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Published June 30, 2025 | By Alyx E, Founder of Collectors MD

In Episode 3 of The Collector’s Compass, we sat down with Mya—aka @bullseye_breaks—to talk about collecting with intention and the power of meaning over manipulation. Mya embodies so many of the values we stand for at Collectors MD: intention over impulse, connection over chaos, meaning over manipulation. Her collection doesn’t just reflect what’s trendy—it reflects what matters to her.

When we brought up the Collectors MD mission, the message around meaning over manipulation clicked instantly for Mya. For Mya, it’s not about profit or prestige, it’s about collecting things that genuinely meant something to her—cards that feel personal, emotional, rooted in memory, not marketing and hype.

But here’s where it gets nuanced. Because “meaning” can be manipulated too.

After sharing the clip from the episode, we received some thoughtful feedback from a supporter and friend, Dave—aka @Iowa_Dave_SportsCards—who said: “Sometimes it feels like the promise of ‘meaning’ is in itself manipulative.” And honestly? He’s right. Even “meaning” can become an internal sales pitch if we’re not careful—a way to justify overspending or chasing under the guise of something deeper. That’s the dark side of the message we’re trying to promote: when emotional resonance is exploited, not honored.

You see it everywhere if you start looking closely. A card described as “iconic” or “historic” or a “must-have grail” to inflate urgency. An emotional memory used to push someone into closing a deal they can’t afford. Even phrases like “for the PC” or “nostalgic hit” can become shields we hide behind when we don’t want to face the compulsive nature of a decision.

When meaning becomes a weapon—or a marketing hook—it loses its value.
It stops being authentic and starts becoming a tool for manipulation.

When we justify every purchase by calling it “meaningful,” we risk hiding the same compulsions behind better language. That’s why we’re not here to define what should be meaningful to you. We’re here to help you slow down and ask why—
Why this purchase? Why now? Do I truly need this—or do I just want it? Can I afford this? Or am I trying to fill a void? Am I buying with clarity—or being sold an illusion?

That’s the kind of intention we’re after. Not forced meaning. Not guilt-wrapped sentiment. Just real, mindful reflection.

Because the line between collecting with joy and collecting out of emotional dependency is razor thin. There’s a huge difference between saying, “I’ve been waiting to complete this set for months, and now it’s finally here,” and, “I need this card right now or I’ll spiral.”

The minute a card or any item for that matter stops being a want and becomes a need—especially one you feel driven to chase without clarity or context—that’s when the slope gets slippery.

So let’s keep asking the hard questions. Let’s keep checking in. Let’s keep reminding ourselves that if the “meaning” behind an item is just another way to justify overspending, then the item isn’t the issue—the story we’re telling ourselves is.

Collecting with meaning doesn’t mean every card has to change your life. But you should know why you’re buying it—and that “why” should come from you, not a breaker, not a hype reel, not the live chat, and definitely not your fear of missing out.

So take a beat. Take a breath. And ask yourself what this all really means—to you.

Collect with real intention. Not just for the story—but for yourself.

#CollectorsMD
Meaning is powerful—but only when it’s honest.

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